Bull Shark Tourism Initiative “Full Speed Ahead,” Utah Declares; Public Beaches Begin Installing Shark Signs

GREAT SALT LAKE, UT — In a development that’s equal parts visionary and deeply unsettling, Utah officials have confirmed that their controversial Bull Shark Tourism Initiative is "moving forward swimmingly" and will be fully operational by summer 2026.

“We’ve had zero shark-related fatalities so far,” announced Utah Public Safety Commissioner Linda Halibut at a recent press conference. “Mainly because the sharks are still adjusting to the salt, and most swimmers are still in denial.”

The project, originally launched under the name Operation JAWs Lake, was conceived to turn the Great Salt Lake into a “must-visit destination for thrill-seeking families, YouTubers, and cryptozoologists.” Thanks to the sharks’ surprising resilience—and possibly Stockholm syndrome—the program has exceeded expectations.

“They're thriving,” said marine relocation specialist and amateur daredevil Ricky “Gillz” Anders. “Turns out bull sharks don’t mind a little brine. One of them even followed a paddleboarder for two miles just to say hi. We think.”

Shark Signage Now a Beach Staple

Utah’s Department of Public Beaches has wasted no time prepping for next summer’s grand opening. Popular swimming spots like Antelope Island, Bridger Bay, and the ominously renamed “Red Fin Point” are now adorned with bright yellow warning signs featuring cheerful slogans like:

• “Sharks Present: Swim With Caution"

• “Sharks May Exist”

• “Don’t Swim if Injured”

Each sign is accompanied by emergency flotation devices, first-aid kits, and QR codes linking to a Spotify playlist titled “Songs to Distract Sharks.” The list includes hits like “Baby Shark,” “Under Pressure,” and Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone.”

Public Response: Confused but Intrigued

Despite minor protests from marine biologists, ethical philosophers, and Utah’s Brine Shrimp Enthusiasts Club, the general public seems cautiously amused.

“I wasn’t gonna visit the lake again,” said local resident Diane Plaskett, “but now that there’s a chance of being chased by a prehistoric predator? I mean, that’s better than Disneyland. At least here, the terror is real.”

Children have been spotted trading shark teeth (mostly from gas station souvenirs) while entrepreneurs have opened “shark-safe” floating snack shacks stocked with fish-free jerky and waterproof mace.

Officials Remain Optimistic

“This is the kind of bold innovation Utah is known for,” said Gov. Casey Millstone, wearing a “Shark Lake Summer '26” T-shirt and standing beside a taxidermy bull shark he called Salty Carl. “By embracing ecological chaos, we’re setting the standard for 21st-century tourism.”

When asked whether the sharks pose a long-term risk to local ecosystems, Millstone shrugged. “That’s a problem for Future Utah. Right now, we’re riding this wave.”

As of press time, rumors are circulating that a Florida-based startup is pitching “Shark Rodeos” as part of the 2027 Utah State Fair. The Tourism Board responded with a simple, chilling statement: “We’re listening.”